This movie sucks. I really dislike Michael Bay's style and would prefer this movie to not exist and yet it's on the Criterion Collection. The Aerosmith song that is so tightly intertwined with this movie is a great reflection of the film in that it makes you want to puke, and yet just like Aerosmith continues to be successful the same applies to Michael Bay. I would have failed this movie with a lower score but I gave it a higher failing score due to one factor; I've come across a few (understandable) positive reviews of this film. Intrigued I tried to hunt down more and when it came down to it they all had one good point: Michael Bay does a good job of hurdling the movie forward while telling the story with visuals, not dialogue. His method of doing this is cheesy and abrupt and is an annoying series of commercials that when put together get called a movie, but there are scenes in Armageddon where the movie really achieves it's purpose: mindless bright colors and explosions. What could make this movie worse? More dialogue that explains the pseudoscience behind what's happening. Yet, that is mainly skipped and Bay cuts us some slack, says "you can figure out the story yourselves, it's pretty fucking obvious" and goes straight to the next scene and big event. It's a videogame of all generic boss battles. The real effect of this is that there is no depth, no understanding, no connection with characters, no caring; the target audience isn't going to see this movie because they have feelings and can empathize, they're going because the world is going to be destroyed by an asteroid. This movie is all exterior and no interior and is cheap, as in it is a slutty movie. Like the Rock and Transformers these are just shitty movies, yet as far as shitty movies go they are the top of the form. Plus one point for really achieving the goal, minus a thousand points for picking such a unclassy goal, king of trite. (.60)

- J Paige